Back before David Ortiz was one of the greatest hitters in Red Sox history, he was a clubhouse prankster in Minnesota. Towards the end of his tenure with the Twins, Ortiz was part of some pretty fantastic pranks involving Corey Koskie, including an epic peanut butter incident. Let’s hear the story from their teammate Torii Hunter, as published in the Player’s Tribune.
“David was really messing with all of us a lot early in that 2002 season, always talking and joking and pranking. But Koskie thought it was time for payback. So in the middle of a game, he went back into the clubhouse to David’s locker and lined his underwear with peanut butter. After the game, we were all sitting in the clubhouse, and David came out of the showers, went to his locker and started getting dressed. He was talking to us — he was always talking — as he was getting dressed, so when he slid his tightie-whities on, he didn’t even realize that there was a lot of peanut butter in there. We were all just sitting there, waiting for it to hit him …
Then he put his pants on. Nothing.
Then his shirt. Then his shoes. Then his coat. Still nothing.
He started walking away, and we were like, OK, does he have peanut butter in there? Or is he just used to having stuff between his legs?
Right when he gets to the door, about 10 yards away from us, he freezes, turns and looks back …
“Yoooooou motherfuckers!” … In that signature Papi voice.
He went off. He was screaming, cursing at us, and we were literally rolling on the clubhouse floor while he got undressed and got back in the shower to clean the peanut butter out of his butt. We were like, “What took you so long to notice?! Are you used to that?!””
In honor of his retirement, the Twins gifted Ortiz with a jar of peanut butter before Friday’s series opener to commemorate that incident. Maybe the oddest inside-joke retirement gift of all time.